Well

The guests of honor, my uncle and aunt, give a speech at cake time. The cousins pulled off a complete surprise with over 100 people there!

The weekend was awesome, but tiring. I decided to take today off with flex time and am tempted to take the rest of the week, too, but I can't really. A 3-day week is good enough. It's addictive, being away from the office!


Lois is taking it easy, too, as you can see... I finally have her leaving her paw alone most of the time and that's good - I hope it heals quickly.


Now I'm cleaning my apartment. It's gotten so bad that I probably won't make a dent, but I am really glad to be starting the process, finally. It really helps that it's a beautiful day out, which sorta makes no sense.


I also planted some basil and mint (I couldn't stand not having herbs) and cleaned up the porch today, too.

Oh and the habits: pushups - great, flossing - so-so, and situps - terrible, so I am going to start taking a Tuesday morning pilates class, tomorrow at 8:30. I need strength in my gut to do all this other stuff. I trained 40 minutes yesterday in the boonies of Wisconsin (stayed in a hotel and there were no sidewalks anywhere, just running alongside the state highways) doing this crazy heart zone run where I'd get my heart rate to a certain number and hold it there for 5 minutes, then drop it to another level and hold it, then back up again - 3 times. It sure makes the time go by when you're busy reading your heart rate monitor all the time.



But at one point when I crossed this highway onto a deserted country road, these two possessed redwinged blackbirds started making a racket of noise and kept swooping down, practically divebombing my head as I ran along. I was actually scared! I kept swatting my hands above my head at them and yelled, "Get away!" but the only thing that made them stop was me turning around and running in the other direction. Creepy! Luckily no one was up at 7am on a Sunday to see this whole thing. It must have looked hilarious!

Dark

I was in a great mood yesterday - which can be newsworthy for all of the obvious reasons - I've got pretty major money issues, organizational issues, I haven't been on a date in ages, I haven't had - um, romantic contact - in even longer, I don't have a lot of friends, I'm tired from a very busy season at work, and all the other stuff. But: I'd just started my triathlon group on Tuesday night, which began with just a meeting (all the people are really nice!) and a 45-minute yoga class at this sports clothing store for rich people downtown, then I rode my bike home, and had the next morning all to myself and Lois - we went running, etc. All was well.

I worked late, got home and took Lois out for a walk - it was after midnight, so my neighborhood was silent. We walked along and for some reason I turned back after passing a shoulder-height bush at the edge of the sidewalk, and noticed this tiny bird sitting there, totally silent, still (and, I finally realized, dead). But it was sitting up as if it was daytime, just hanging in the bush - letting me walk right by. It was eerie. I took a pic (above) with my camera phone.

After that, things went all dark in my head, and I found myself crying, and walking, mostly wishing someone was walking with me, or wishing there was someone I could call about the bird, or that someone would be home for me to come tell about it. I was completely overtaken by this sadness - a loss of something I've never had - sad for the bird, for myself, for all the people who are alone everywhere, who wonder, like I do, what did I do so wrong?

It was an unbelievably painful few blocks.

I got home, brushed, flossed, did 20 pushups and gave Lois a biscuit for hangin' in there with me, and played with her and a toy for a while and went to sleep pretty soon after.

And you know what? I woke up just fine today. Crying your heart out at 1am for a tiny bird inexplicably perched, lifeless, in a bush might be OK once in a while.