The weekend before the weekend before last

(it's taken me this long to post it because I hadn't downloaded my pictures...Sorry!)

Birds at the nature museum where I went for friends A & S's super-fun wedding.

That Friday morning: Lois discovered a dead squirrel at the foot of one of the backyard trees, and then I went to the dental specialists, and was seen and talked over by both the endodontist and the periodontist (and three of their helpers), and the conclusion is that it's time for me to have my troubled tooth (the one that hurt so bad the last time I blogged) pulled, and have an implant put in, and possibly I'll have to have that happen to the tooth next to it soon as well. This was a big, HUGE bummer. A 3-to-5-thousand-dollar-out-of-pocket-per-tooth bummer. Seriously. I have no idea how I will swing this. No idea. I don't even have that much freed credit on cards. I wanted to go back to school, but that's up in smoke. I am really freaked out.

This is what the center office of a German American membership organization office looks like just before Oktoberfest (note giant stein).
Then, a few hours and much lost will to live later, I rode my bike to my Friday volunteer gig - where I am trying to organize the files of a German-American membership organization, the one that houses my German language school. It's sort of hilarious - a) ME organizing files (but I sorta get into it) and b) the state of these files - yikes. I really like the people there and the place is calm/quiet and interesting. I feel like I am really helping and it's a good thing for me, too, as this project is my partial scholarship towards taking German.

Amazing set by Giant Sand with perfect weather and crowd.

I then interviewed some pilates teachers for the real job (yes, on my day off - erg) and then rushed home to do some laundry. It was actually a great thing to do on a Friday night - as Saturday and Sunday were filled to the brim with working and the Hideout Block Party, which was awesome. It's a two-day music fest that I've ben volunteering for for like 11 years, from pouring beer to selling tickets to chaeking ids, it's such a fun festival to be a part of and the Hideout people - owners and staff - are the best. I registered voters on Saturday, and worked backstage on Sunday, and ate REALLY delicious organically grown vegan food from one of the vendors called Urb Garden - from Iowa City, Churlita! - and saw a really great set by Giant Sand, and took myself and my friend J on a tour of the City of Chicago's Fleet Management Department - basically 3 city blocks of enclosed warehouses for the city's thousands of vehicles. It was awesome. And that was all before Neko's set!

J in the Fleet Management center. We just asked, and they let us walk around unsupervised! Don't try this at home...

On my dog walking break I went and got a pedicure at a new place to me, recommended by a work friend who knew I owed myself this treat post-triathlon, and it was the best EVER. They give you tea, they use salt scrub on your legs, give you good foot, leg and shoulder massages at varying points, pour hot milk on your freshly scrubbed skin, use hot towels at least twice, and are super nice. It wasn't even expensive. I am definitely going to go there from now on for my 2x a year pamper treat...

Fellow voter registrars S & E in the goofy red shirts we wore.

I also grabbed the crappy child bike trailer from my back yard that's been sitting there for 2 years since I tried riding with Lois in it and she got out. I attached it to my bike and pedaled back to the Block Party, where Working Bikes was set up to take donations, and I hope someone there will make good use of the thing - maybe make it into a cargo trailer. I love the bike people, as you may know. But mainly it was fun to get rid of the thing, since I recently bought a super expensive fancy new dog trailer.

Zombies assembled backstage getting ready for their Thriller dance as part of an AMAZING Michael Jackson tribute show that was the musical highlight of the Block Party.

When I think of all the things I would like to do with my time, it's overwhelming. I've been realizing lately that being poor is a real time game - you're not only broke with regard to money, but time is just not available to you like it is to others. I think I'll dedicate a whole post to this...money stuff is making me think a lot about life and priorities. I know I am handicapped in that arena and I wonder just how much it is affecting things like my ability to meet guys...

So, yeah, the block party was great this year. Super great. I had a blast and sort of just felt right at home, which is fun, esp. when I haven't been out almost all summer because of that triathlon phase. I even got up on stage each night and encouraged more voter registrations, so that was fun. Now if I could only meet some of the hot hipster guys I saw there...

Season change

Friend S with excellent Chicago-based photographer M, hiding behind sign at Obama speech party.

Does anyone still check this little blog anymore? Maybe I've filtered out some of you anonymous readers who never comment (AHEM!) by being so lax on the posting. I promise to get better. Maybe someday I will even get regular about it...

Lois running like a bat outta hell in my parents' sloping backyard. She loves it there!

I've been working - as soon as the tri was over it was back to work after taking those 4 days off, and then to Iowa for my mom's 60th birthday party, and then back to work for the (evil) busiest week of the fall. I have six of these busiest weeks a year, and they are not so pretty. Lots of phone calling which disrupts my normal web surfing and emailing. No, really, just lots of long hours, fires to put out and people to disappoint inadvertently. But: I do look forward to autumn, my favorite season, and have been responding strongly to the cooler weather!

Fog rolling onto the Mississippi early last Saturday morning - the breathtaking view from my parents' place.

I've already baked brownies twice, baked a cake (not impressed by the trader joe's vanilla cake mix, by the way), ordered take-out Chinese food for the first time in months, bought a duvet cover, rummaged for my knitting, and started actually reading a non-triathlon book, Middlesex (finally, I know). It's fun to be in hibernation mode again. And have a little more time to indulge the settling in thing.

Bike ride with stepfather (in crazy yellow bike wear) down to the south end of the path on the day of the Air & Water show in Chicago - the firetrucks (and hot firemen) hang out all along the lakefront and watch for trouble.

Since the triathlon's over, I have to do two things: 1-clean, and 2-get myself into some sort of self-directed exercise regimen. Taking the 13 days off since the event was NOT good - I feel giant, sluggish, and sore. I attempted to find time to run in Iowa over labor day wknd, but every time I had my running stuff on, some table needed wiping down or setting or an errand needed to be run. It was hard (but fun!) being one of the four people at the house who knew about the surprise and the 30+ other people secretly in town waiting to ambush my mom and her twin.

That's my aunt K totally surprised (looks fake but the tears are about to burst out) at her 60th birthday party. Big props to my stepfather who engineered the whole weekend.

Other things about the weekend were that I got to see a lot of the great kids in my family, who I love, and - I got in a huge fight (well, one of those nonspeaking things that may last forever) with my brother, who said that I should "put Lois to sleep," totally seriously, with great conviction and bilious anger. She was barking and harmlessly nipped at my cousin's boys who were getting on her nerves. My brother had been a dick to me all weekend, but that was the final straw, and I asked my aunt to take me and pooch home instead of riding in his car as I had on the way down. Sad part is that he and his wife are expecting twins this winter, and honestly, his issues with anger toward my innocent DOG do *not* bode well for fatherhood. Plus, they just lost their best babysitter!

My jerk brother (doesn't he just *look* jerky?) with my awesome second cousin. Note shirt.

SO, anyway, I ran this morning with the Saturday 8am running group from the running store - a super-slow 3 miles with Lois. It was good to get back on the horse, but I do suck. I also had a massage last night at the physical therapy place - that was the present to myself I'd been looking forward to after finishing the triathlon. It was great. I also took my very favorite dance class on Tuesday—West African Dance—for the first time in over a year, and that was awesome. I hope to add pilates to this mix and keep up the running as long as I can into the fall, then switch back to all swimming as it gets cold. I want to get faster and more comfortable with running for longer distances if I'm gonna do the international distance next year. Then, I'll have to look for a gym again, because I recently read that the drug I take for my thyroid can cause bone density loss, and weight training (something I've successfully avoided doing for 38 years) is the #1 thing I can do to combat it.

Perfect day for a family brunch/gathering in a small town overlooking the river...really perfect.

I'm boring. I know. I have so so so many more pictures to post but it's not so easy for me with my short attention span, so these will have to do.

Running on empty

I found out today that I didn't get the new job/promotion at work. I wasn't expecting to, really; there is a woman at work, who's younger than me, has been there less years, but who's in the "clique" of some nasty fakeness that I thought was going to be gone from my workplace when my former boss (her best friend) left. But the more things change, the more they stay the same. She of course got the job.

I am still underpaid, and undervalued, and to be truthful, very disappointed in the powers that be. And maybe a little bit in myself for letting myself be - as I do in all of my bad relationships - taken advantage of for little to no return of support, respect, or happiness. I am so tired of giving it away.

Not much else to say. Just bummed and need to find ways to get some of the blessings of life to come my way. The hard reality tonight is that career, love, and family have all passed me by, although I have put out so much into the universe. Do I keep giving, more and more, with hopes of a different outcome? If not, what's the alternative?

It's been busy. *Updated with pics!*

Chuck D and Flava Flav, a bit blurry but totally sensational and always in motion, performing It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back from end to end, plus many of their other hits at Pitchfork. A blast.
1) Last week was rough - I really wasn't sleeping at all still, so I wasn't doing my triathlon training, and it was super hot at night, so I wasn't sleeping, and then it was raining in the times when I could have done training, so I hated myself, so I wasn't sleeping...etc.

The dance tent is pure joy in one space for 2 days. I can't tell you how amazingly fun it is to see so many people dancing...
2) Last weekend was the festival. It was great, as always, though interpersonal stuff can sometimes get in the way when you've worked on something for so long with the same person. As I've done for - is it 4 years?, I ran a jam-packed dance tent, sort of the second stage of the fest, and helped out backstage and emceed. Check out the flickr group for all the amazing pictures from lots of people - I'll put mine up soon, too. It's SUCH a fun festival. I realized I've been doing it for 10 years! Wow. I was up til 1am Sunday night closing down backstage (the diehards/drinkers were there til 4) and then back up and out at 6am Monday to check the field and return things to the school. I worked til 11am.
Awesome Aztec dancers prepping for their ceremony in the dance tent.
3) Then, the afternoon bbq/party for the fest was Monday. I cycled out to the pool and decided to stay more than an hour, so I had to ditch week two (outta 6! crap) of my awesome bike class. But it was OK. I came home and changed and then went out again to a free show of three friends' bands (missed the first one) and it was really great music and for the most part great people/many friends at the venue. I'm so glad I went out again, even though by the end of the night I was really running on empty!

The pool, with no kids allowed this one day, was a peaceful respite on Monday after the fest.
4) But then I had to teach (subbing) for the next three mornings, and that was pain-full. I still wasn't sleeping well and was exhausted, with the slurred speech, slow movements and blank expression to prove it. I am amazed all the parents in the earliest classes liked me so much - inside, I was a wreck! Autopilot must have kicked in.

Jack, who's 3, made this awesome drawing on Thursday. He said "it's a tiger with a crazy tail and one REALLY long claw," which started the best conversation amongst the other 3-year olds I've ever heard. I'll post it soon.
5) I interviewed for a new job at my organization on Wednesday afternoon. It's a teensy bit of a step up in title, a bit of just a change. I had to ride my bike straight from our other location to the main location after teaching art, change into interview clothes, and get mentally prepared in about 30 minutes. It went OK. I am sure I'll find out Monday. I have no expectations.

6) That night I almost died of exhaustion, but S. came to the rescue because her friend R was coming over to give massages to S and BA, and they asked if I wanted one. HELL YES. I missed the show I was supposed to go to that night, a work thing, but it was worth it. My body was so wound up from the past few weeks and the past months of training, that the massage literally gave me new life. I fell asleep in full clothing when I got home.

Eric from Sebadoh rockin the mic. Jason and Lou rockin behind him. I was behind the camera in a state of bliss.
7) Last night was day 1 of Pitchfork, a usually awesome indie music fest that I've attended whenever I can, and I had 3-day tickets this year too, but I decided to sell them and go only for one night. It was a great decision. I saw one of my favorite bands ever from the early 90s (a theme, I know), Sebadoh, and then Public Enemy. Plus I hung with friends at their booth in the sale area. The rest of the bands this weekend weren't super exciting for me so I am glad I opted to have some me time instead.

8) This morning I rode through the POURING rain - all the way downtown - to meet my training group at a specialty "multisport" (triathlon) store. We had a workshop on bike maintenance (another theme, yes?) for the triathlon (what to do if you get a flat in the race, etc.) and then I bought $100 more worth of equipment (bike computer, fenders, CO2 flat fix thingies, a holster thing...) at our group 20% discount. We were supposed to do an open-water swim also, but the weather sucks (thunderstorms off and on) and I just don't want to today - that would mean another bike ride downtown.

9) I finally got rid of the car today. I was going to have it towed to S's garage for one month while I tried to sell it for junk and/or sue the woman who hit me, but after paying tickets, and insurance, and other b.s. this whole time, I caved when the tow truck driver offered to buy it for $100 cash, without the title. He towed it away and honestly, even though I've lost so much money in the whole thing, I am instantly happier.

I got all verklempt when I realized what I had just done and ran to get my camera for this last picture. There in the distance on the right goes the first and only car I've ever owned - north up Lincoln Ave. on the back of a red towtruck to her final resting place... Thanks for 10-1/2 years!
10) Tomorrow is the women's 5K race I signed up for. I haven't run at all recently but I am gonna try it. If nothing else, it's a gorgeous bike ride to the lakefront and it's early enough (7:30am) to be a great start to my day that doesn't take over the whole day. I'm excited! I wish Lois could run with me. The shirt for the race is cool. I am laying out the stuff for the morning now.

Work

Note dark circles.
I had a rough night last night - it was super hot in my bedroom and I couldn't get to sleep - tossed 'n turned a lot, which is unlike me. So today I'm really, really tired. Plus I signed up for a 6-week bike maintenance class that starts tonight (6-10pm Mondays), and the triathlon training has gotten intense now. Today I have to do a swim (leaving for "lunch" in about 20 minutes) and then do a 30-min. strength workout at a later point, too, plus fitting work, Lois and getting to and from the bike shop in there somewhere. Maybe I'll lose weight just from not having any time to eat. That would be a silver lining!

I am truly exhausted, though, and if I still feel tired tomorrow, I might take Wednesday off to sleep. I just don't want to be here when I feel this whooped.

Computer DOWN

...again. This time it seems really bad, like heat and bad noises and it won't even turn on most of the time, and then when it does, the screen freezes and starts to white out in horizontal lines. It's not pretty.

So, I am blogging, sans pics, from a front-desk computer where I work, in the middle of the night, while it is pouring rain outside. With Lois at my feet. We were on a walk and came in here for a quick minute, but now it's been an hour and the rain isn't stopping. SO, I might as well get some work done, right? I have a giant data entry mess to complete as soon as possible.

It was technically a day off for me, but so much for that...

More later.

When hate turns into love

So the other night (sorry I am pausing so long between blogs, by the way; I still have the damn loaner computer and it's a pain) I had a couple of revelations: One was that I really, really like, maybe even LOVE, brussels sprouts. I used to vehemently hate them. I don't know what exactly happened to change this, but I find myself eating them every couple of weeks. It's crazy. They are especially delicious with a Boca brand BBQ Riblet.

Another crazy food insight is that I just can't eat like a dieter. I know, that's probably a good thing (I mean unless I wanted to be a model or ever wear a clothing size in the single digits), but I tried to curb my chocolate cake craving by buying the little 100-calorie packs of Hostess cupcakes, and damn if they didn't just ruin my appetite altogether for my once-secret-craving favorite, their larger and much more tasty 400-calorie cousins. I mean, just look at the puny thing!


Then last night, after a very rough 11-hour day at work, complete with brutal deadline and another missed Ukulele class the night before, I trudged out of the administrative office, where my cramped little shared cube is, and saw this sight:



It's too bad I didn't think to do an audio post, too. It was pretty cool to see and hear all these people playing music for fun, at night, and practicing on their own. Honestly, I was so proud of my workplace I almost forgot that they pay me nearly nothing and treat me pretty much like crap.

You know, outside of the cube, it's still a pretty great place.

Sigh of relief

Today is one month, exactly, from the last good day with DG. So, quite serendipitously, he emailed me tonight. It wasn't exactly what I'd hoped for, and that is because he — luckily — is not me. But the email didn't entirely close the door, either. It does make it so that I can probably go on a couple of dates with other people this month without being all piney and weird. I can leave him up to fate.

Mainly, it was funny to find out that we are more or less in the same place about stuff - at my therapist a couple weeks ago, I realized that while dating him, I lost track of all school deadlines and now have to wait 'til fall to start taking the classes I need. I've been so caught up in dating that my own goals (besides finding someone) were lost, my apartment became a (n even bigger) nightmare, I neglected a couple friends, and look - my health, ultimately, went down the tubes as a result, forcing me to chill. I am glad in many ways for a chance to put on the brakes, and, lo and behold, that's basically what DG emailed that he was doing. He probably had more than one dating situation going, but for me, even the one with him was enough to really test who I am and what I want.

At work today, I decided to take tomorrow and Wednesday off as vacation days to continue my recovery. I think I'm outta sick days. It still hurts to breathe a bit, and I'm super low energy, sleepy, and feverish. People kept asking me, "What is wrong with you??" all day. It was funny. Must have been the goosebumps and the glassy eyes? The lack of my usual piping in on everyone else's conversations? The fact that I wore sweats to work and hadn't washed my hair? Or, maybe because I almost broke down completely in tears when Sharon asked me for the accompanist information for payroll?? (Ha ha ha ha ha, oh, that was good. I'll have to apologize for that when I get back.)

All I know is, I am taking care of me for the next two days. Somebody say amen.

Ouzo at noon

This is Angelo. Angelo is the maintenance director where I work. Please note the red embroidery on his shirt: "Angelo." And what, you ask, is Angelo holding? Why, that's fried calamari legs! The time of this photo is 1pm, today.

Angelo is Greek. His real birthday is July 23, in some unknown year. Angelo is one of those master-of-all trades and he came here from Greece after living a very interesting life. He likes aerobics classes and has an old husky dog and a grown son, and he lives ridiculously far from work. His work hours are something like 4am-12pm. Somehow, three or four years ago, we at work started celebrating "Angelo's birthday" a few times a year at the Greek restaurant down the street, Barba Yianni. He apparently does some work for the place, and they, in turn, allow our rowdy crew of crazy arts people to dine on a major Greek feast, complete with Ouzo and Greek wine, on these very special days. We leave work and meet at noon and spend a couple of hours there. It's a GREAT tradition. Sometimes I don't partake in the drinking, but this time I was very, very into that aspect of the celebration. Take note, singles out there: Drowning one's sorrows in ouzo and Greek food is highly recommended!!


Above is my view of the other end of the table.



Above is a view of my end of the table. Please note my pastiness and unphotogenic-ness, but then, give me a break—I was focusing on my alcohol comsumption, not my appearance.




And last, above, is a lovely picture of the octopus and the "lamb balls," presented by coworkers Janet and Julie.

We were served octopus, grilled and fried calalmari, spinach and cheese pies, cheese pies, saganaki (opah!), Greek sausage, antipasto plates with feta, dips and vegetables, rice and peas and potatoes with tomato sauce, gyros, fresh bread, baklava, Greek coffee, and galaktobouriko, and probably more that I can't remember. I drank two glasses of ouzo and ate some food for the first time in a few days. It was delicious.

I had to have another glass of ouzo when I got back to work, so as to stop obsessing as much as possible and stay focused for the last couple of hours of the day. It didn't really work, but what a great day, anyway!

I also stepped on the scale today, and have lost 10 pounds since a couple weeks ago. Hmm. I would LIKE to eat, just don't have the appetite. But that puts me within 20 pounds of my hottie weight, and THAT would be fun to start the summer with...

Tonight: reconnection with good friend after I swim my blues away, then the Salif Keita concert, or as much of it as I can stand to stay for. I went swimming last night, by the way! It was great.

xo,
your drunky friend