It's pouring out again and my computer bag (waterproof, supposedly - one of those fancy bikey Timbuk2 ones) is still drying out from Saturday's ride downtown and back. But I made it to work, damp, also with my giant swim bag, because today is a swim workout and I'm looking forward to it! With all the other training and the open water swims, I only get to my neglected pool once a week at most.
Last night I was supposed to meet friends at a rock show of my friend's awesome band The Thin Man, but they weren't starting til 10 (on a Sunday!), and after cooking a delicious shrimp/broccoli/mushroom alfredo w/whole wheat pasta, and eating it, I lost all steam. (I'd been up for a long, time, too, don't forget.)
Instead I watched the movie "The Year of the Dog" - it was a slow-moving, somewhat depressing, but really good film about the sad, changing life of a single 40-something woman whose dog dies. My friend M had told me a while ago not to see it, and I can appreciate his warning, but rented it because I wanted something "easy" to watch while I cleaned and folded clothes. It certainly wasn't that kind of movie. Lots of dogs in it though, which kept Lois barking at the screen every once in a while.
How do people come to bring meaning to their lives? It was a very à propos film because I've been thinking about that theme a lot recently. Some people have it seemingly made - a life that's defined and rich and full of ideas that match what they spend their time doing, and others are in a constant search to find something, anything to make it all worthwhile. (For many that's kids - for better or worse.)
It's a continuum for sure, and I know that the folks I try to surround myself with are integrated people, who have something unique and authentic inside that drives them to be themselves and share it with the world. Because that's ultimately how I see myself. Trying to be a better person all the time, to do and be what is meaningful... to me, and to the people I can connect with in this life.
I think it's why I've eschewed some of my ambition, over the last five years or so, in the music business - it just doesn't appeal to my best self, and I'm already surrounded by the people in that world I enjoy anyway, on their own, so I don't have to push to be or have something more, like a fancy job or unlimited contacts. I think about this because in years past I would never have missed the Pitchfork festival - the chance to schmooze and network with all my friends and acquaintances backstage, etc., but this year there's other stuff going on, and it wasn't a priority. Months ago I'd emailed the organizer, who I've worked with in the past, about working the fest, and honestly I was glad when he didn't give me a job this year. Plus, there's the core: the music - and seeing a favorite band in a small club is SO much preferable to me, soundwise, crowdwise, weatherwise... It's why tonight I hope to make it to see the one band I would have enjoyed seeing at Pitchfork, though I may be too late because I have my bike class. We'll see. Check back - could be an awesome dance party!
In other news, my good friend P is in town from NY - yea! - and I'm taking a day off on Wednesday to celebrate and hang with him. We're looking into going to an amusement park (!!), which I haven't done in years, and would be SO FUN, but actually anything, even nothing, will be fun with him. (We've also discussed getting pedicures.)
2 comments:
It sounds like you have your priorities straight. I like to look at my life as collecting experiences and seeing everything I can see. I try to give that to my girls too, but it's hard not to stress out about the stupid stuff like money and time...Or the lack thereof.
I know, the money thing really makes things tough. Not having money or a partner is really tough. I think people like us who can be happy without either are pretty much miracles!
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