The Call of the Wild

This is a guy in the German parade on my street two weekends ago. I have no idea what he was supposed to be.
I don't know who all reads this, so if you're under 18 (mentally or chronologically) you might not want to read any further. Wait like four days and maybe I'll have posted something more annoyingly mundane, as is usual.

Right now I am sitting on my couch ignoring my bored dog and counting time. My dog somehow found (this is gross, I warned you!!!) a used condom behind? attached to? under? my bed when I was moving stuff around, and I was thinking about the ridiculous length of time that thing has probably been there, and how the newest it could possibly be is like nine months old. (And yes, I do clean once in a while.) And that realization bummed me out.

Then I started counting the time it's been between now and my last meeting with MBC (Mr. Booty Call) and how many days until gets back into town (four). And that's interesting. Because I don't really like MBC. I don't miss him, per se, but I do want to be sure I clear the calendar for one evening next week. (Is that bad?) Honestly, I don't even know if I think MBC is cute. But, um - he gets the job done.

The guy was with this group in the parade. Again, I have no idea what they were trying to be. German fighters in the Revolutionary War? Oh, and in general, the parade was GREAT!

So here's the thing: I got into this arrangement with MBC for two reasons: 1) all the working out from the triathlon or maybe the summer heat or maybe the time since my last regular partner made me incredibly horny - and yet with training and the job from hell I didn't have time to cultivate anything real, and 2) though I am in truth looking for something real and long-term and romantic, my damn libido has, in the recent past (ahem, WX) allowed me to make intellectually and emotionally irrational and idiotic choices with regard to companions, and I thought that taking the damn libido out of the picture would stem that tide and allow me to more freely look for a better match, an actual friend first, a social/psychological/intellectual equal, who shows good judgment and, of course, excellent regard for me - without sleeping with him.

Good theory, right?

Well, the MBC situation has had its good points. I mean, a) it's fun. b) we've only met a handful of times, so it's still exciting, and never in my home, which is sorta of mysterious and discreet, like a little vacation (thus you can understand the extra shock when Lois brought me her lovely treasure this evening - it's definitely an oldie), and c) he lives closeby, and d) he is a good kisser (and is into that even without the romance that kissing usually connotes).


From Labor Day in Illinois near the Iowa town where my parents live, along the Mississippi River. It's still flooded all throughout that area - totally wiped out all crops and much livestock and so many homes. I wonder what last weekend's rain did? This pic is about five miles from the river, too. Yikes.

The bad thing is: I'm fundamentally lazy. Though he is "up for it" (ha ha) more often than I think I am, and it's still not that often, yet - in all reality - it's just enough to make me, well - give up on anything else. Maybe I haven't given it enough time. And it's true that I haven't been out much since mid-August - to meet anyone else - but really, I don't even look at guys the same way. I just don't care...I have my cake. I might not eat it too, but I do have it. You know?

Tonight just for fun I did my thing of talking to a stranger guy and instead of being challenging it was just - lame. It was easy and I wasn't nervous/excited at all. He told me where he got this thingie on his bike, and he was even cute! - but I just - I dunno. I think this MBC thing is not exactly making me enthusiastic about meeting men. If anything it's taking the edge off - but not necessarily in a good way.

You know?

Thoughts?

P.S. to Von - it's a rehash without the Spaten - forgive me!

Mucha Mucca

Foxy MPer Jeff T. revs up the audience Bugs Bunny style.
There's this somewhat indescribable (they say "circus punk marching band") band I love here in Chicago called Mucca Pazza, who I went to see Thursday night, and they were, as they are always, so much fun!! It was their record release show, at this new-ish venue that is cool looking but fairly badly run (NO air conditioning or fans and it was SWELTERINGLY hot, and they ran out of beer before the band even started).
There's the crazy horn section, sneaking up to the balcony!
I bought a tank top and proceeded to change into it in the back upper left of the crowded show where I was with my friends M & K and their three girls. Then I met my friend S. (whose birthday is today, and who is in town from L.A.) and we danced our sweaty asses off.

Shazzar gets excited about the Muccas.
After the show, it was off to the Whirlaway, a great bar around the corner, with some guys from the band that S. friends with. That was fun, too, but I was exhausted, so I just sat there listening most of the time.

Last night was another family picnic/barbecue. I also did laundry while we ate.

Saturday, I rode downtown at 6:30am and swam in Lake Michigan at Ohio St. beach with my group - our first open-water swim training. It was such a good practice, but very cold, and actually, it was sorta freaky - I tried swimming in my wetsuit for the first time. I'd purchased it from ebay, and it's a diving suit, not a specific triathlon suit, so it's really not made for swimming or, apparently, moving your arms around much at all. I felt like I was dying after just a little bit in the open water. It's the combination of the bitter cold, lack of vision, and no range of motion in my upper body without causing my chest to feel totally constricted and choke-y.

My parents surprised me by showing up at at the midpoint of my 1/2 mile swim with their dog and my dog (who had slept over at their place). How fun to look up from the water onto the breakfront wall and see them!! I have no idea how my mom recognized me - there were at least 30 other wetsuit-google-swimcap-clad freaks out there with me at that point. I could barely tell the men from the women.

Lovely Tour de Fat on a perfect day in lovely Palmer Square. Mucca Pazza played this fest too.
With them, I walked through downtown and ate breakfast, and then I rode home, and then to Palmer Square for the Tour de Fat, this AWESOME AWESOME new (to Chicago) touring festival put on by the New Belgium Brewing Co. (makers of Fat Tire) to benefit the supercool bike place where I took my basic bikes workshop. I was a volunteer selling merch from 12-5 and it was much fun. Mucca Pazza played and are on part of the tour - so it was excellent to see them again, but I didn't dance as much because I was sorta far away from the stage. And trying to sell stuff.

Two of my co-merch sellers in the New Belgium tent.
I met and talked to some very nice guys who were volunteering with me and who were just customers/TdF-goers. I think the bike people are the best people ever. Everyone was friendly and unpretentious. That's one sorta important thing I thought of this weekend - the last two guys I've dated (DG and WX) didn't even own bikes. One had two Porsches (plus a motorcycle he never wore a helmet on) and spent a great deal of his time and money racing and talking about the Porsches, and the other, when I said, excitedly, on one of the first warm days, "Hey, you should get a bike so we can ride to stuff!" said to me completely seriously, "Why would I want a bike when I have a car?" - so, since neither of these guys ended up having the values I hold dear about people and life and the world and how to treat each other, etc., I figured out the common thing missing from them: the bicycle.

Anyway, I also saw my crush at the Tour de Fat - the guy who taught my bike workshop. He's still super cute. But of course, out of nervousness and then later out of tired, 3-beer tipsyness, I awkwardly shouted over to him - yes, twice - "Hey, it's my bike teacher!"

Did I talk with him like a normal person? No. Did I find out if he was single? No. Did I embarrass myself totally? Yes.

Then that night, I was in bed at 9pm. That is all.

Flossing should not be difficult.

But I didn't do it yesterday. I did the pushups (was still at 7 but doing 8 today!) and ran with M at the lake. Good stuff! I also got all my hair cut off:


First, I desperately got about 7 inches cut off Saturday night at a cheap walk-in place, but hated that look of shoulder-length boringness, so I made an appointment yesterday (for considerably more money at a real salon, which I had to put on a credit card) and had the rest cut off.

I do miss my long hair a little, but this is fun, too. (And it'll grow, right?) Plus, it'll be so much easier with all summer activities and heat.

I'm going swimming now, so we'll see if I can style it myself...

Oh, and remember Habit #1? Talking to a new male human a few times a week? I haven't been perfect on this, but on Monday night I went to see Iron & Wine and Califone at the Vic, with S., and boldly talked to some very nice guys I didn't already know. There will be more opportunities this week, because I have tickets to the big art show here for the weekend and there are two more concerts on Thursday and Sunday. Watch out!

Let the love flow

Here's a group shot of my friends at the Assyrian nightclub on Sat. night (check out the neon lines at the top of the wall). It was super fun! There was a wedding going on (A total middle eastern wedding, but the bride was Suzy and the groom was 'Bob from New Jersey'), and a live band all night, the owner of the place is the (excellent) singer, and there were two sets by a fabulous bellydancer.

H. (with the napkin, above) noted that at every table besides ours, there was at least one pinkie ring on a man, and at least one head of really long, really big, frosted hair on a woman. All the women had super high heels. I would add that there was also at least one mustache at every table (on a guy). And much clothing made of various degrees of shininess. There was a nice man of this type - in his late 40s maybe? - that came out and danced with me. I found out he was from a far away suburb and was the cousin of the band's doumbek player. But when he asked about wanting to do ballroom dancing sometime, I had to back away slowly.


Here was my favorite threesome - they came in around midnight: Mini-me and his two women friends. One, we were sure, was a transsexual (on left) and one or both we thought might be - well, professionals.

There was a 2-drink minimum, and every drink is $8 - beer, coke, liquor, water - anything you get. But there was no cover, and the entertainment was really top-notch. Plus, the best part is that you push a button and your waiter (George was ours, the best!) comes running out from the back bar area. I've heard it's a really "authentic" arab/middle eastern club. If that's true, then I love arab clubs!

HabitWatch -
#1: talked to a couple guys at the bar last night. Getting warmed up.
#2: 7 pushups Monday and today.
Swam: Sunday and Monday.
Run: tonight, with M (though I am super tired. We'll see.)

And now for something I *really* love...

Today's post is about a material posession that truly does fall pretty close to the category of if-you-love-it-so much-why-don't-you-marry-it: It's my "new," used Nokia 6230 phone. I bought it on ebay and it arrived last weekend. I am SO happy with it! My old and trusty 6010 (the plain and uncool kind of Nokia which no one has anymore but that I had much love and loyalty toward) was finally starting to break, and it took me forever to find the exact phone I wanted - I knew there was a phone out there that would be perfect, because my ex had owned it, but I forgot which model number it was, lost the paper where I'd written it down, and didn't feel like contacting him for it, and let me tell you - if you don't know the model number, it's a nightmare to sift/search through the discontinued cell phone world!

But after a couple weeks of browsing websites, ebay, craigslist, and many reviews, desperately trying to find it, I found my perfect phone! I bid on a couple of them on ebay, and this one came with the headset (which I needed, to use my favorite function, the FM radio) and another charger (which one can always use two of) so it was, I think, a good bargain at $60... and without signing a new AT&T contract.

Oh how I love it so.

I've already synced it with my computer and have all my contacts backed up, and as you can maybe tell in the pics, it has a (low-quality, but still!) camera, so Lois is always with me! And, after a very late night of way too much internet use, I downloaded 20+ supercool ringtones and I am totally sporting Desmond Dekker's "007" as my incoming call ring at this moment. It makes me so inordinately happy, it's actually ridiculous.

I can even wake up to the radio as the alarm. And it has a really good speakerphone, the kind where the other person can't tell you have it on. Seriously, I am in cell phone heaven. Best of all, it uses the same charger I had before, so my car and home ones work, and it feels (weight and ear-to-mouth ratio is so important for me) and functions like the awesome 6010, which was a solid brick phone that I dropped a million times and still worked and had the best reception anywhere. No flip phones for me; I love the shape, weight and feel of this thing. I am so geeked over it, it's scary. Of course, in the "things I love" theme, I had to tell you about it.

7 pushups tonight, 7 pushups yesterday. Swam today, rode my bike a lot both days - even in the snow last night to the Assyrian nightclub. Plus, talked to a stranger guy there, while dancing with him. More on that later.

xo

Another thing I love!

...is this guy's last.fm station. He lives in Spain, I found him randomly one night when I was on there. I've been listening exclusively to his music this week! It is so great! Lots of music that's new to me, but that I fall in love with when I am listening to it, mixed in with lots of artists I already love. Excellent! Tailor-made for me! I have a feeling I may be buying some CDs very soon and going to a few shows I wouldn't have checked out before.

I emailed to tell him and he has emailed back a few times! It's nice to make a music buddy.

So, habits: At the doctor's office today, there was a cute, single-looking, my age-ish guy. I smiled at him a lot, but it was awkward; he was getting pee tests and blood tests and skin things, and I was having a terrible time with my insurance about the brain CT scan my doctor prescribed. So there was never a good time to strike up a conversation. Darnit. Failed at habit #1.

#2: Did 7 pushups just now before posting this, swam at lunch. Planning on doing the running store group run tomorrow at 8am, and got M. to say he'd come along, but forecast calls for 30s and rain/snow, so we'll see...

Things I love

I decided that, since I usually just kvetch on this blog and my last post was extra whiny, I would do some posts about things I love. So today it's low sodium V-8 - I love this stuff!!

I always have it stocked in my little mini-fridge at work, and even if I miss lunch (like today) and only eat raw almonds and an orange, if I drink this little can of LSV8 I can make it till the end of the day and I am totally fine and happy. Even with less, it's still salty enough for me, and feels like I am being healthy when I drink it, and when it's super -cold, it's perfect (usually I like things room temp).

I especially love it when I find it at Aldi on super sale (which has only happened once, and I bought three 6-packs). Otherwise, it's a little pricey, but I still love it. Yum.

HABITS:
I posted on Craigslist plus messaged a stranger on Last.fm, so that counts for habit #1, right? Also I introduced myself to one of the Bill T. Jones dancers and another guy in line at the fancy gala benefit show I went to last night, so I am doing good.

#2: 6 pushups every day this week, plus swam 1/2 hour yesterday, and walked around in heels a lot last night. That's more annoying than pushups.

Pupil freak-out, habit lame-out

Here's one corner in the totally depressed neighborhood in Gary where I spent most of Saturday. You can just make out the crumbling house behind the sign and the guy in his bathrobe.

Friday night I went out with M. again for rockabilly at a bar one block from my house. Earlier, I also watched a DVD and made cookies. It was a good night, and I'm glad M. made me go out!

It was finally lovely weather here this weekend! and though I spent all Saturday outside, I had wanted to go running at least one day, but I got a splitting headache (I never, ever get headaches) when I got back from Ind. while walking Lois, and then my pupils totally dilated for about an hour, and I couldn't focus on anything, and the whites of my eyes were also bloodshot. Needless to say I didn't go running or go out. I am a little nervous about it, but will call my doctor tomorrow to follow up.

Habit #1: met/talked to a good one Saturday while canvassing for Obama/registering voters for the Indiana primary election. He was also doing that, in the group my friend A. put together. He gave me his card, even! (Not that I'm just gonna randomly call or email...) Nothing for today. I realized at about midnight that I'd planned to go see one of my favorite local bands at one of my favorite bars tonight but I totally, completely forgot. Oh well.

Habit #2: Didn't do any Sat. I just watched a DVD (I am Legend, which was actually good!) and went to bed. Spent most of today in bed too, after I got home from work and walking around in the nice weather with Lois. Did my 5 pushups tonight - after much internal debate.

Stalactites

When I swim at lunchtime (Mon/Wed/Fri), I usually wear my swimsuit under my clothes, work in the morning, go swim laps, then take my post-swim shower in the pool locker room and come back to work. Today, though, I forgot to pack the bra and underwear set that's sitting, carefully selected and neatly folded on my bed, into my bag for the ride to work today. So after swimming and showering today, I had to go super commando (luckily wearing jeans and a dark shirt!), and of course I had a lunch meeting with 2 teachers, etc., so I couldn't go home and grab the underthings.

I think it's the first time I have ever been at work braless and underwearless.

OK, on to the habits:

Habit #1: was introduced by M. to one man last night at the Big C. Saw other cute guys, but lamed out on approaching them, plus was with M. so looked like I was in a couple. That's the only problem with having a hot male friend.

Habit #2: did 5 pushups in art room. Braless.

Blue

Here's my ingenious solution to the heinously bright fluorescent light in my new cube - a blue theatre lighting gel, found in the art room. It's lovely now.

But blue is definitely the color theme this week - I've had some bouts of loneliness that I know are normal, esp. since being so sick and bedridden - plus the shitty Chicago weather - and the that-time-of-the-month-ness, etc. - but there's just no getting around the fact that I want to be in a relationship, am ready for one, am willing to work on it, and really be in it, etc. (those are the great things I learned about myself in the last one), but it's harder than ever to meet eligible, sane, cute guys. That gets me down.

I'm going out with my friend M. tonight for rockabilly, and may see some folks outside of my normal pod, which is good. Then on Sat. I'm canvassing for Obama in Indiana with some other friends/acquaintances. All are good things. I will for sure meet my Habit #1 quota for the week in the next couple of days.

As for Habit #2, I did 5 pushups on the office floor after teaching today. It was funny. (Hope no one saw me!)

Ok, I'm back

(Here's me tonight in my new cube at work. We just moved desks. I like my new area except the bright light behind my head. )

...but hopefully no one will notice that I am back to blogging, because I'm gonna use this blog as sort of a personal life slow-change tracker. I changed the title - used to be "Adventures in online dating, something else, and tempera paint" but now it's gonna be about my adventures in trying to change my life - one habit at a time.

I'm just gonna slowly add habits I want to acquire and see how it goes.

So, for the habit #1, I have been trying to strike up a conversation with a man I do not know at least once per day. It's sooooo not easy, but I was doing pretty well until I got sick last week. Then it stopped. So now, tonight, sometime before I go to bed, I have to do it. I'll let you (meaning me) know how it goes tomorrow.