We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog for this very important Public Service Announcement

The lovely and talented 2008 volunteer backstage hospitality crew at the Folk & Roots Fest! (pic by SJ)

TIPS FOR BEING BACKSTAGE AT A MUSIC SHOW OR EVENT:

1) Never enter the artist's green room (or tent if it's an outdoor festival) without permission AND without being invited by the artist.
2) NEVER, NEVER eat the artists' food unless invited or given permission by the artist. Even if given permission, be modest in your intake (like, one snack), and say thank you. Remember that you are in someone else's workspace - and you're not entitled to anything.
3) Same with beer. One or two free beers is polite.
4) If you do f--- up on the greedy intake of artist food and drink, at the VERY LEAST do not litter the area by leaving your used plates, cups, plasticware and napkins around! Volunteers get very upset cleaning up after loser starfuckers like you. They are there to help out and have fun, though, so they probably won't say anything to you but will instead curse you under their breath.
5) Do not overstay your welcome. If you are there with a band that's packing up to go, leave before they do, or with them. If you are not there with a band or musician, and you're not working, why are you backstage at all? is the question that comes to mind.
6) Do not enter the production office or tent without permission. Those neon-colored signs at eye level that say "ARTISTS" and "PRODUCTION STAFF" mean that if you are not either of those, you do not belong in that area. You can read, right?
7) If you happen to notice that you are the only ones backstage who are not workers, or performers, and no one is voluntarily talking to you, (unless you force them into awkward conversation) that is a REALLY good clue that you are NOT WELCOME there. You should probably go.
8) If you are backstage and you aren't doing anything, why not help those people clean up, or lift that cooler, or help unload that cart over there - anything. Make yourself useful and you will find that the volunteers might not count the minutes (or 10+ hours) of your stay as much. Even better, get out of the way entirely and let people do their jobs and have their space back.
9) Are you backstage at a nonprofit organization's major annual fundraising event? Did you forget that there are vendors selling beer and food who make their livings that way? Do you make more money than any of the 250 artists who work at the nonprofit organization, and who have to buy their own food at the event? If you are a multi-thousand-or-million-dollar donor to the organization, even you are not welcome backstage - but you can go to the hospitality/VIP area for the free drinks and food. It's a better view anyway. Again, if you're not a donor or sponsor, please go buy food for yourself and leave the donated food and beer for the performers and crew who put the event on, the folks who actually deserve it. I mean, come ON!
10) Are you even there to see the music or check out the event? Because, if that were the case, wouldn't you be out in the crowd watching the bands, enjoying it??
11) If/when you are politely asked to leave the backstage area after usurping space, patience, and resources that were never meant for you (for two straight days), please go away. Do not stick around and stare at people who are working. YOU WERE ASKED TO LEAVE. Get a clue.