Sigh of relief

Today is one month, exactly, from the last good day with DG. So, quite serendipitously, he emailed me tonight. It wasn't exactly what I'd hoped for, and that is because he — luckily — is not me. But the email didn't entirely close the door, either. It does make it so that I can probably go on a couple of dates with other people this month without being all piney and weird. I can leave him up to fate.

Mainly, it was funny to find out that we are more or less in the same place about stuff - at my therapist a couple weeks ago, I realized that while dating him, I lost track of all school deadlines and now have to wait 'til fall to start taking the classes I need. I've been so caught up in dating that my own goals (besides finding someone) were lost, my apartment became a (n even bigger) nightmare, I neglected a couple friends, and look - my health, ultimately, went down the tubes as a result, forcing me to chill. I am glad in many ways for a chance to put on the brakes, and, lo and behold, that's basically what DG emailed that he was doing. He probably had more than one dating situation going, but for me, even the one with him was enough to really test who I am and what I want.

At work today, I decided to take tomorrow and Wednesday off as vacation days to continue my recovery. I think I'm outta sick days. It still hurts to breathe a bit, and I'm super low energy, sleepy, and feverish. People kept asking me, "What is wrong with you??" all day. It was funny. Must have been the goosebumps and the glassy eyes? The lack of my usual piping in on everyone else's conversations? The fact that I wore sweats to work and hadn't washed my hair? Or, maybe because I almost broke down completely in tears when Sharon asked me for the accompanist information for payroll?? (Ha ha ha ha ha, oh, that was good. I'll have to apologize for that when I get back.)

All I know is, I am taking care of me for the next two days. Somebody say amen.