I've now officially contacted him three times (two via email and one via MySpace message) without hearing a thing back. The last one just said: "What is going on?"
I haven't called him and really, absolutely want to, but I don't think I will. I have to leave it, though it's so confusing. I want to know what is going on in his head! - if I should just totally give up on ever talking to him again? Why? What the heck did I do but open my heart to him (and my bed, my life...) and then open my laptop?
I'm curious what he would be mad about - because if anything, this whole thing happened because I LIKED him, too much.
But I don't feel angry, I just want to connect, and fix it, and move on to being friends.
I am trying to do other things, which isn't working - work, in fact, isn't really working at all (I wish I could take a mental health break, but I would just stew) - and I would LOVE to plan a date with a new guy, but everytime I look on the dating sites, his profile comes up in my matches or in the featured front ones, and it sends me into a tailspin. Plus, of course, everytime I look on there he is online, too.
I wonder too how he has so much luck on those, and I just get dweebs and freaks contacting me.
He's out of town this weekend anyway, so at least I won't have to run into him for a while.
I am just SICK from it all, still. I can't eat again today, and I have terrible taste in my mouth that won't go away. No energy, but I also couldn't sleep. I don't know what to do.
I have never been this sick from a guy before. I think because we weren't serious or boyfriend/girlfriend, I'm shocked that this is feeling and acting like a more serious breakup than I would have expected.
Or, maybe he was the love of my life, and I am just realizing the loss? Hmmmmm....
I have a sense of humor and can sometimes be logical about it, but the physical and mental disability I am experiencing is really, really intense. I don't feel like I'll ever be normal again. I am completely serious.
I need a BIG distraction.
Oh, and my roommate chose Tuesday to tell me that she's 90% likely to be moving out in May, so I have to find a roommate for June 1. Not that kind of distraction.
I can't even cry, I'm so upset with all this.
And you know who would be a great roommate, actually? Dating guy.
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2 comments:
Okay. He is mad because you called him on his shit and now he has to feel bad. He is a pussy. The love of your life is not a pussy, Sarah. You need a real man, who will appreciate you.
The reason guys have more luck on dating sites, is because they aren't as picky as women are. If you would hook-up with whomever was interested, you could go out a couple times a day.
I know it's hard, but you probably really need to just get into your own shit for a while so you like yourself better and stop wondering why that asshole doesn't like you. You are awesome and you're a powerhouse. Try to get to the point where you are swimming every day and going to see cool shows and doing your art thing and you will forget all about that loser.
If he never contacts you, it will suck, but then you'll know he was never worth your time and you can move on.
Call me if you need to. I promise not to vent all my won crap this time.
Churly-Girl, you are the best. Can't wait to catch up with you as a distraction.
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